OK, so following on from the alternate Avengers post yesterday, and as mentioned, I got to thinking, what about the Expendables.How would that work. It would be a bit pointless just throwing a different bunch of 80’s action heroes together, it’s been done twice, and with the third one due out next year, and it’s ever expanding cast list, I don’t think there is any washed up action stars left.
And then I thought, what about TV. We all love it. With the recent Emmy Awards showing that the big 5 networks now no longer control the warming glow we see, thanks to quality TV as we call it on cable channels, and streaming networks.
So I decided that what better way to celebrate the quality TV era than revisiting an era from my youth with the Alternate Expendables.
Why do washed up action heroes need to be built like tanks, with their martial art skills and car door ripping off abilities?
The answer is they don’t. So the Alternate Expendables don’t work like that. They stumble through the movie, nearly dying every time, and never, ever getting the girl. Yes, they are your favorite characters from kids TV shows. The best of the worst.
Seriously, if this doesn’t get made into a movie I don’t know what is wrong with the world. You know you want to see it.
The cast is as follows:
FRED SAVAGE – KEVIN ARNOLD – THE WONDER YEARS – The Sylvester Stallone of the group, due mainly to his show being the biggest out of all of them. Also received some basic military training before his dad died, so will last a bit longer in a fight.
BEN SAVAGE – CORY MATTHEWS – BOY MEETS WORLD – The neurotic one out of the group, yet he keeps them all in check, due partly to his sexual tendencies being torn apart during his time on Boy Meets World. Always on the look out for women with weird names.
DUSTIN DIAMOND – SCREECH POWERS – SAVED BY THE BELL – How could everybody’s favorite helium addict not be in there. The only real reason anyone watched the show. And you know it’s true. Plus he still needs to pay his mortgage.
KEL MITCHELL – KEL KIMBLE – KEENAN AND KEL – The refreshment guy, always on hand with a bottle of orange soda should anyone need it. And the only really funny one out of the entire cast.
SEAN O’ NEAL – SAM ANDERS – CLARISSA EXPLAINS IT ALL – Laid back, care free, and an expert at breaking and entering, exceptionally good at bedroom prowling and climbing trees.