A bargain at $150,000, it comes with a garage that nobody ever uses, a lot of bloodstained floors, and a swimming pool that has only ever been used once in a suicide attempt!
Check out the video for RDJr’s 6 foot Iron Man replica, bought for him after the Avengers finished filming by his staff.
Like he couldn’t afford it himself!
Check out one of the best British comedies of all time in a classic episode. You Americans think you have the best, but you would be hard pressed to beat this!
So, here’ what I’m wondering. How many new TV shows do we have to go through each year, only to find that thanks to the ridiculous 18 – 49 demographic, poor, well sometimes, viewing figures, and the we will just see how it pans out and hope for a second season network mentality, that our favorite will be cancelled.
We do this every year, whether it be the Summer or Fall season. New shows, with exciting posters, trailers, and interviews promising us the best new TV show we have ever seen. It will be so good it can’t fail. There is a second season already in the works. How many times have we heard this before? How many of us watch the first or second episode of a show, with the thought already in our head that it won’t make the cut. That’s right, all of us, and on a seasonal basis.
So instead of thinking of new shows every year to replace the ones we wish had a new season, I thought, what if the Networks decided to mix shows together between themselves.
Think about it, we like these shows, we watch them together, they haven’t been cancelled. Yet.
It has happened before. Think CSI, NCIS, Buffy.
So why not now. With the previous efforts above, and the movie crossovers with Agents of Shield, and the newly ordered Batman Gotham order, now is the time for Networks to mix it up. And try something new. Or old.
So these are the best ones I could think of so far, but the list will continue!
NEW GIRL and HOW I MET YOUR MOTHER
With them both being pretty much the same show, just a slightly different set up, the HIMYM characters decide to try a new drrinking hole and find themselves in Nick’s bar, with the New Girl cast on a drinking session. Would probably focus on 2 of the greatest comedy icons of modern times competing for the spotlight in Schmidt and Barney, but man would it be funny!
SUPERNATURAL and HAVEN
So both shows cover the paranormal, and both are on different paths, but both these shows need a ratings boost, and a little mix between the two would fix the problem. Supernatural has never been the same since season 5, and forgetting the final scenes from the last season, has sucked since then, and whilst Haven is on the rise story wise, it lacks the sense of humor that comes with Supernatural. The mix would entail Sam and Dean heading to Haven to investigate something weird, only to be drawn into a battle against a mythical creature, and make Nathan smile through wisecracks and Castiel turning up.
SONS OF ANARCHY and TRUE BLOOD
Two shows with a tendency to make the next episode more and more violent, edgy and controversial. Well what if they crossed over, with Samcro wanting to expand their gun business to Bon Temps. And Eric and company not happy with it. Honestly, can you imagine the outcome. I can see a lot of tea drinking, singing and being merry. Not!
PERSON OF INTEREST and THE MENTALIST
A missing persons case bring Mr Reece and Finch to Sacramento, where they meet up with Sacramento’s finest. With both main characters having a fondness for not smiling and suits, the case would be solved quite quickly, with plenty of time for some hair styling tips and tailored fittings.
THE VAMPIRE DIARIES and PRETTY LITTLE LIARS
OK, this one would be a disaster waiting to happen. There would be bitching, fighting, backstabbing, and pretty much the worst soundtrack to a TV episode ever. In fact there would probably be a song constantly playing, knowing these two shows’ fondness for cheesy singer songwriters and no scene left songless. However, it would be nice for the two sets of characters to get together, at a prom probably, again, and fight it out. Think punch spiked with Vervain, a few punctured necks, and a hell of a lot of sex, with a lot of songs thrown in!
OK, so following on from the alternate Avengers post yesterday, and as mentioned, I got to thinking, what about the Expendables.How would that work. It would be a bit pointless just throwing a different bunch of 80’s action heroes together, it’s been done twice, and with the third one due out next year, and it’s ever expanding cast list, I don’t think there is any washed up action stars left.
And then I thought, what about TV. We all love it. With the recent Emmy Awards showing that the big 5 networks now no longer control the warming glow we see, thanks to quality TV as we call it on cable channels, and streaming networks.
So I decided that what better way to celebrate the quality TV era than revisiting an era from my youth with the Alternate Expendables.
Why do washed up action heroes need to be built like tanks, with their martial art skills and car door ripping off abilities?
The answer is they don’t. So the Alternate Expendables don’t work like that. They stumble through the movie, nearly dying every time, and never, ever getting the girl. Yes, they are your favorite characters from kids TV shows. The best of the worst.
Seriously, if this doesn’t get made into a movie I don’t know what is wrong with the world. You know you want to see it.
The cast is as follows:
FRED SAVAGE – KEVIN ARNOLD – THE WONDER YEARS – The Sylvester Stallone of the group, due mainly to his show being the biggest out of all of them. Also received some basic military training before his dad died, so will last a bit longer in a fight.
BEN SAVAGE – CORY MATTHEWS – BOY MEETS WORLD – The neurotic one out of the group, yet he keeps them all in check, due partly to his sexual tendencies being torn apart during his time on Boy Meets World. Always on the look out for women with weird names.
DUSTIN DIAMOND – SCREECH POWERS – SAVED BY THE BELL – How could everybody’s favorite helium addict not be in there. The only real reason anyone watched the show. And you know it’s true. Plus he still needs to pay his mortgage.
KEL MITCHELL – KEL KIMBLE – KEENAN AND KEL – The refreshment guy, always on hand with a bottle of orange soda should anyone need it. And the only really funny one out of the entire cast.
SEAN O’ NEAL – SAM ANDERS – CLARISSA EXPLAINS IT ALL – Laid back, care free, and an expert at breaking and entering, exceptionally good at bedroom prowling and climbing trees.
OK, we all know how bad the 80’s were for many reasons. Fashion for one, shoulder pads, braces, Frankie Says Relax T – shirts to name but a few. Music is another, with the decade giving us the likes of Paula Abdul, Rick Astley, who continues to haunt us now, and USA for Africa, which don’t get me wrong, was a noble cause, but was quite possibly the worst song ever. If you can top it please let me know.
And then there were the movies. Some of the worst performances ever were filmed in the 80’s. It was as if acting was a secondary requirement to being in a movie. You didn’t have to act, or even try. It was terrible. If the same roles and movies were made today, there would be a media bloodbath of the actor, movie, and director. How could this happen in 2013? We have come so far.
Yet looking back at some of the roles played by some of the biggest stars of the era, and how bad they were, makes me realise one thing. I actually loved those movies. And I think that if the characters were put into a movie today, they could form some sort of Avengers, only tougher, and the world would cower in their presence. And the soundtrack would be better. Imagine Never Surrender playing as the final battle commences! This is only a few of the characters I have decided to included, and will be doing a Justice League one tomorrow, with an alternate Expendables following. In the meanwhile revel in the greatest alternate Avengers of the 80’s!
Here they are!
5. DOLPH LUNDGREN – HE MAN – MASTERS OF THE UNIVERSE – Seriously, it’s He – Man. And he is saving the world from Skeletor. Has Iron Man ever done that? Could he? Erm, no!
4. ROWDY RODDY PIPER – JOHN NADA – THEY LIVE – He has X -Ray glasses and is all out of bubblegum. He has a lumberjack shirt on! Who would mess with that combination?
3. JEAN CLAUDE VAN DAMME – KURT SLOANE – KICKBOXER – For two reasons, he kicked a tree for about 5 minutes, and that battle cry at the end! Hulk can shout all he wants, but nothing beats the battle cry of JCVD! And he does the splits! Does Iron Man? Erm, No!
2. SYLVESTER STALLONE – MARION ‘COBRA’ COBRETTI – Three point to note, 1, he had to grow up with the name Marion, which meant he had to fight all through school, honing his fighting skills and meaning he has a chip on his shoulder, making him angry all the time. 2, he wears sunglasses all day long, and night, meaning he has super eyesight now, and looks cooler than any of the Avengers,and 3, he goes shopping with a shotgun. How do you top that?
1. ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER – JOHN MATRIX – COMMANDO – The leader of the 80′s Avengers for two reasons, he threw a metal pipe at the bad guy and it went through him. Really. That takes some skill, and throwing arm, and he took out an entire mansion of bad guys, without getting killed, in one scene. And mainly for the “let off some steam Bennett” line.
If you like and want to buy any of these and more, click the link below bitches!
Quite possibly the funniest game show moments on TV ever. If you can top it please tell me how! Anyway, the Celebrity Juice Scene but not heard clips!
With it being the end of the week, I have taken to bringing the comedy back to the blog, first up is BBC Radio 1’s Innuendo Bingo, with Gerard Butler in the seat this time. The set up is this, celebrity fills mouth with water, listens to clips from TV show that sound dirty, try and keep water in mouth. Simple, but funny!
I have decided that with the crap coming out this year, and there is quite a lot of it, coupled with the reboots and spinoff’s that seem to be growing in number that I would ask you, my fellow bloggers, and the public to come up with the new movies and TV shows, since the executives don’t seem to want to do it.
Seriously, I know some people might be happy with some of these ideas but it is getting to the point that it is expected. In the TV world, this year alone we have had spinoff shows from Breaking Bad, the Vampire Diaries, Supernatural, Chicago Fire, and the Walking Dead either confirmed or upcoming this year, as well as Evil Dead, Robocop, and Mad Max in the movie world.
Then what do they do to freshen things up? They announce a Star Wars new trilogy. And another 3 Fast and Furious films.
Are there any new ideas?
I hope so, and that”s what I want from you. I run this blog and a website similar, and want you to send me scripts, ideas, and stories for new movies and TV shows so I can send them, which believe me I will, with great pleasure, to all major studios, networks and agencies with the hope of getting your work onto the big or small screen.
I will take no credit for the work should it get picked up by a network or studio. My reward comes from the satisfaction in new movies and TV shows getting made by ordinary people, like me, well I think I’m normal anyway, getting the break they deserve, and some of the wittiest and smartest people I have the pleasure of knowing in you here at WordPress showing the overpaid Hollywood, London, wherever, executives and writers how to do movies and TV properly!
Seriously, I have liked your posts, follow you, read you everyday, I know what a lot of you can do. And it is worthy of greatness. I would rather read your posts than the newspapers that sell millions of copies everyday.
Seriously, where do you think I get my daily intake of news about, well everything, from movies and TV to poetry, what the hell is happening in San Francisco with traffic, I must delete that blog actually, to everyday global issues. It’s not by buying a newspaper or reading the BBC or Fox websites. It’s by checking here everyday. With the people I trust to tell it how it is, when I want to hear it.
So now I want to at least try and give back. I am not saying it will work, but there is no shame in trying. So send me ideas, scripts, stories, and I will do what I can to make it happen.
One more thing, there are roadworks on a lot of streets in San Francisco this week. Just to let you know!
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